Released on 2014 Feb. 26th, included in the first album.
Lyric: Yuyoyuppe / Music: Yuyoyuppe / Arr.: Yuyoyuppe
This is SU-METAL's solo tune.
Akumu no Rondo (Nightmare Rondo)
The waning moon has lit up
the insanity rampant in the shade.
The laughter resounds around.
It bares its fangs and its eyes gleam.
I can't escape from it.
It flickers slowly
appearing and disappearing in my mind.
A nightmare rondo is being repeated.
The awakening light
is gone far away out of my sight.
I can do nothing but run
through the darkness.
In the woods, in the fountain,
I hide myself holding my breath,
but it's still coming closer to me.
A stagnant voice. An endless night.
Ah...
If I can no longer get out of here,
won't you show me your figure?
It flickers slowly
appearing and disappearing in my mind.
A nightmare rondo is being repeated.
The awakening light
is gone far away out of my sight.
I can do nothing but fall
into the darkness.
ROMAJI LYRIC AND NOTES ARE BELOW.
[i] Is "輪舞曲" Read as "Rinbukyoku" or "Rondo"?
If without reading, "輪舞曲" should be read as "rinbukyoku". But when the title of this tune was announced, most of those who knew the meaning of the word thought it must be read as "rondo", and actually the reading "rondo" is attached in the lyric card.
"輪舞曲" (rinbukyoku; literally: ring-dance-tune) is the translation for "rondo" (musical form). Japanese intellectuals of the Meiji era invented many such translations: "協奏曲" (kyoosookyoku; cooperative-play-tune) for "concerto", "小夜曲" (shooyakyoku; small-night-tune) for "serenade", etc. At first, the original-like pronunciation in katakana was attached to kanji like "輪舞曲(ロンド)". If the kanji notation has got popularity, the reading has changed, otherwise, the notation has changed into katakana, but sometimes this combined style is still used if someone thinks it's cool.
Akumu no Rondo (Nightmare Rondo *1)
| Romaji Lyric | English Translation | Notes |
| Kaketa tsuki ga terashi dashita | The waning moon has lit up | 2 |
| kageri no naka habikoru kyooki. | the insanity rampant in the shade. | 3 |
| Warai-goe hibiki watari | The laughter resounds around. | 4 |
| kiba o muite me o hikaraseteru. | It bares its fangs and its eyes gleam. | |
| Nigerare-nai. | I can't escape from it. | |
| Yura yura yurameku, | It flickers slowly | 5 |
| kokoro ni mie kakure. | appearing and disappearing in my mind. | |
| Akumu no rondo ga kurikaesareteru. | A nightmare rondo is being repeated. | |
| Mezame no hikari wa | The awakening light | 6 |
| haruka kanata mie-naku nari, | is gone far away out of my sight. | |
| tada hashiri nukeru | I can do nothing but run | |
| yami no naka o. | through the darkness. | |
| Mori no naka izumi no naka | In the woods, in the fountain, | |
| iki o koroshi mi o hisomete mo | I hide myself holding my breath, | |
| semari kuru sugu chikaku ni. | but it's still coming closer to me. | |
| Yodonda koe. Owara-nai yoru. | A stagnant voice. An endless night. | 7 |
| Aa... | Ah... | |
| Moo koko kara derare-nai no nara | If I can no longer get out of here, | |
| anata no sugata o misete wa kure-nai ka? | won't you show me your figure? | |
| Yura yura yurameku, | It flickers slowly | |
| kokoro ni mie kakure. | appearing and disappearing in my mind. | |
| Akumu no rondo ga kurikaesareteru. | A nightmare rondo is being repeated. | |
| Mezame no hikari wa | The awakening light | |
| haruka kanata mie-naku naru. | is gone far away out of my sight. | |
| Tada ochite yuku no | I can do nothing but fall | |
| yami no naka e. | into the darkness. | |
Notes
- I hit upon this translation before BABYMETAL officials began to use "Rondo of Nightmare" as English title. But, does it express "nightmare being repeated in rondo form (or like a rondo)"?
- "Kaketa" means "lacking (something)" or "chipped" (for dish, etc). When used for the moon, it means "gibbous" (fuller than half but not full). It gives no information about whether waxing or waning, but I feel it means "waning" and guess most Japanese think so, too.
I fixed the translation replacing "waned" with "waning" on 2014 Jul. 17th (thanks to Anonymous san of comment of 2014 May 3rd). - At first, I thought this insanity is her own (hiding in her subconscious), but "it" appearing below looks as if referring to the man (or beast) that frightens her, so I'm somewhat confused.
- "Hibiki" (= hibiku) means "to sound", and "wataru" in this context means "reaching far/everywhere". The sound is carried far/everywhere through echoing (= reflection), but it can also be done without echoing (appended on 2014 Jul. 17th).
- This "it" may refer to whole the first section rather than beast-like "it" in it. If so, replacing "it" with "the vision" may be preferable to avoid ambiguity. Anyway, appearing and disappearing suggest some repetition, and I think this repetition is said to be a rondo, which is a musical form repeating the main melody in a certain manner.
- That is "the light that should wake me".
- "Koe" means not only human's voice but also animal's.
"Yodonda koe" is unclear, low in pitch, and probably small in volume, so it's not distinguishable whether human or beast (appended on 2014 Jul. 17th).
I don't know about you, but this is a stunning track. Darkest BABYMETAL to date...
ReplyDeleteThanks for clearing some questions up with this translation...
I'm glad if this helps you, but I'm still wondering about note 2 & 3.
DeleteNow "still wondering about note #3 & #5". The note numbers are shifted as I inserted two more notes,
DeleteAbsolutely amazing lyrics!!! When u read it, it's like you can hear a slight wavering vibrato in Such metal's voice and a slight short breat feeling... That's because she's afraid, running away from this beast in her mind, pure evil and fear dripping from its fangs... Afraid of the evil beast chasing her beneath the cover of darkness.....
ReplyDeleteAnd that epic slow beat.. Its like the beast has caught up and she's looking at it in the face, peering endlessly locked in the free of glowing eyes glistening from the shadows...
And that vocal bit of the long aaaaaah... That's her scream-
Then the distorted vocal bit, her inner voice... contemplating... that this is the end....... Please... Just show yourself... Make it a quick death................
Such drama and that feeling of horror ane fear of the unknown.... Deeeepp... Love it!!!! Best and most mature babymetal song to date!!!
Thank you for your detailed comment.
DeleteSorry for the typos in my post, my silly phone doing autocorrect. All of your translations are so poetic, thank you so much for sharing these and enhancing the babymetal experience for everyone... much respect!
DeleteAm I right in thinking Yuyoyuppe wrote the music for this...? This is his best work in my opinion since 'Leia'. I wish babymetal would cover Leia!!!
I am currently writing and arranging a piano interpretation cover of iine... Inspired in the style of the various final fantasy piano collections.
I will send you the link once it's finished!
Yes. Lyric, Music, Arrange, (and probably Sound Production & Programmed) by Yuyoyuppe. According to the interview, maybe the main producer did nothing but requesting a tune like "Dream Theater + Meshuggah".
Deleteyo...
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think of the below? My attempt to play with your translation. Be as harsh as you like, I'm immune to criticism :) I'm genuinely interested in your opinion.
Akumu no Rondo (Nightmare Rondo)
A shadowed moon lights the sky
With insanity hiding in its shade.
The laughter echoes
It bares its fangs and its eyes gleam.
I cannot escape.
It flickers slowly
Appearing and disappearing in my mind.
A nightmare rondo is being repeated.
The awakening light
Is out of my sight.
I can do nothing but run
Through the darkness.
In the woods, in the fountain,
I hide myself holding my breath,
But still it comes closer to me.
A stagnant voice. An endless night.
Ah...
If I can no longer get out of here,
Will you not show me your shape?
It flickers slowly
Appearing and disappearing in my mind.
A nightmare rondo is being repeated.
The awakening light
Is out of my sight.
I can do nothing but fall
Into the darkness.
You know I am an original supremacist.
DeleteIf "shadowed" is not ambiguous with being hidden partly by a cloud, it's OK. The difference between waning/waned and hidden by cloud is absolutely important.
Since the superstition "lunacy" means that the moon causes the insanity, I think this subject-object relation should not be changed.
"Echoes" is OK, but note that "hibiki watari" (- wataru) means that the sound reaches throughout the place by reflecting.
Hmm. Intriguing.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew Japanese. Why is your language so hard to learn? :)
And why is everything so much cooler in Japan than Canada?! Is it just because it is so much warmer?
Ah, maybe I'm just discontented. And cold. Really, really cold. Stupid winter.
Okay...
Let's try this.
First verse:
A crescent moon has lit
The insanity hiding in the shade...
(crescent is ambiguous. Better than shadowed, which does suggest cloud cover. I was kinda going for a halloween thing, but your comment makes that incorrect. I believe 'crescent' or 'partial' does the trick...it does not allow the reader to know if the moon is waxing or waning. And you can see I've changed the subject-object relation, which I definitely had wrong.)
And...
"..."Echoes" is OK, but note that "hibiki watari" (- wataru) means that the sound reaches throughout the place by reflecting..."
Is this not an "echo"? Perhaps the word "reverberates"...? I can't think of (or find) another word in English to replace this meaning.
With 'reverberates' the line looks like this...
The crescent moon
Has lit the insanity hiding in the shade.
Laughter reverberates
It bares its fangs and its eyes gleam.
I cannot escape.
Personally, I prefer 'echoes'...it's more poetic.
Additionally, I've attempted to come up with some some other words for "stagnant"...which seems incorrect. You say the Japanese word "koe" means not only human but animal. Does the line suggest screaming? Or just a guttural human voice? I've come up with
howling
wailing
baying
shrieking
yowling
Given the references to the moon, this 'voice' does seem wolf-like (by my interpretation)...does the word howl work?
If you want to know the truth, you'd better ask Mr. Yuyoyuppe, the writer.
DeleteBut I guess probalby "kaketa" describes 2, 3 days after (or before) the full moon (70-80% lit). It is seldom used for the crescent moon.
I mean this 2.a. definition of "resound".
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resound
Probably the reverberation can be noticed, but the focus in not on it but on the fact the sound reaches far.
"Yodonda koe" is not distínguishable human or beast.
It is unclear, low in pitch, small in volume, like dog's snarl? or groan? before bark, in Japanese: "uuu" of "uuu uuu WAN! WAN!"
It seems I'm on a fool's mission, sir.
ReplyDeleteI've been attempting to play with translations from a language I do not understand...it seems I need to learn the language before even trying such a task. I just love the music, the lyrics...My goal was to make the words more poetic in English, to make the piece flow. Obviously this is impossible...certainly impossible without knowing the original language. The words mean what they mean in Japanese, the language it was written in. Perhaps it was arrogant of me to force the words into my own interpretation, into my own understanding. At least the exercise has taught me this. Thank you for taking the time...
And thank you for your patience. ^_^
Cheers!
You are right because the translation of a poem should be another poem. In this meaning, my translation is just explanation, but I can't help it because I don't know English well. I hope the readers to supply it with their own poetic sentiments.
DeleteYour translations are more than explanations. I know what you mean by the statement. But as I've said, they are invaluable...and becoming more so. You have illuminated these songs for thousands of people. I just wanted to help. But there is no short cut. Clearly, my time is better spent pointing those interested in your direction. ^_^
ReplyDeleteI love reading this discussion. I agree, translating a poem requires writing another poem, while also remaining true to the original meaning -- very very difficult, even for someone fluent in both languages.
ReplyDeleteConcerning your explanations, and Mr. 6001's efforts, there are words that might be accurate to capture the original meaning -- but they might not work as poetry.
So yes, "lunacy" is about madness caused by the (full) moon -- but no-one thinks of that when they use the word (the same way no-one thinks of "New York" as being new, or "Tokyo" as being in the north). And the word "lunacy" is used differently than the word "insanity": lunacy is senselessness, not really insanity. Also, it can have the sense of being silly or over-dramatic and exaggerated, so it's not as frightening as insanity.
For the phase of the moon 2 or 3 days before or after the full moon, the English word would be "gibbous" -- but no-one ever uses that word, and most people don't know what it means. But it might work in a poem, I don't know. In everyday language, you would say "waxing" or "waning" (not "waned" as an adjective -- you could say "The moon has waned," but not "a waned moon"). But then you have to decide whether it's before or after the full, to decide which word to use. So instead, you might say "almost full" or "nearly full," which leaves it ambiguous (but is a little awkward in a poem).
For the echoing/reverberating, you could say "resounds" -- I think that captures a sense of the sound spreading and even getting louder, without specifically being about echoing (it can be, but it doesn't have to).
Thank you, as always, for your generosity and care!
Thank you for your explanation. I've confused the past participles of transitive verbs and intransitive verbs. "Kaketa" is typically used for such as "a chipped dish" and also used for something being left incomplete, so I don't want to use "almost/nearly full". I will reconsider that. Probably "a waning moon" is the best.
DeleteThanks! I'm kind of shocked at how deep the lyrics are haha I became a fan of Babymetal some weeks ago and have been listening to them daily, but I just got around reading the lyrics and what a nice surprise! Of course, they're not all poetic, but all the ones I like best are pretty cool. Headbanger, about celebrating a 15th birthday, captures the "wildness" (let's say) of a teenage heart, and Onedari Daisakusen, about girls "sucking up" to their dad for goods, kind of reflect pretty well the "dark side" of daughters haha
ReplyDeleteAnd my three favorites (Megitsune, Akumu no rondo and Akatsuki) have absolutely stunning lyrics. I think deep down I find Akatsuki the best (melody- and lyrics-wise, because the lyrics could be interpreted in such a variety of ways), followed by Megitsune and lastly Akumu no rondo, but by a hair's difference :)
Aw...I really wish more of them could come out soon haha
I wish they could, too.
DeleteAfter all of these comments my question will look very silly, but i need to do it.
ReplyDeleteHow do you guys translate/explaing "Rondo"? For what i know, is a musical sequense right? But how relate that with "Nightmare", to be honest i would like to translate the lyrics to spanish (another language to add haha), but is almost impossible to translate "Nightmare Rondo" to spanish, makes not sense at all.
So, Du Enki, please help :/
Yes. "Rondo" is a musical form ( A B A C A B A...). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rondo
DeleteAnd BABYMETAL official uses "Rondo of Nightmare" for this tune. Anyway, what it means is shown in line #8 "A nightmare rondo is being repeated." This is an almost literally translation. Probably this means "A nightmare is being repeated in rondo form (or like a rondo)".
I believe in English we would think of "Rondo" as being "repeating" as in a "recurring nightmare" - a nightmare that presents itself every night. This would make the most sense from a psychology point of view as young people and children often have recurring nightmares and eventually grow out of them.
DeleteThank you for your comment.
DeleteDu Enki, I highly respect your work here in helping all of the fans of other countries to understand the Japanese intent. It is most interesting as our particular language often determines how we think about and interpret the world around us. I realize that I am adding my thoughts to conversations that occurred in the past (a strange thing that only the internet can provide). Anyway, I was wondering about your post below from July 26 where some other internet user interpreted, "It flickers slowly appearing and disappearing in my mind...." As I said above, I think in English we see "Rondo" as a repeating sequence. In the title translation I viewed it as a play on words meaning the form the music takes and a recurring nightmare. The producers have done this before with "desu" and "death". As for the disappearing and reappearing, I think that in English we would interpret that to mean the state where the awake mind tries to recall the dream but can only access fragments of it. Because the girl has seen the dream over many nights and because she can only remember fragments when she is awake - she cannot decide if the visions are just a nightmare or if they represent an actual memory of something that really happened. She is questioning whether or not her fears are real. Not understanding Japanese directly, I have no proof that this is the storyline, but I submit it to you on the basis that the idea is a universal literary theme used in the stories of many cultures and so I believe this song to be a variation of that theme.
DeleteDu Enki, I had one other thought on the word, "Rondo". As I said, language can determine how a culture perceives life, so not knowing Japanese culture, I am only guessing, but "Rondo" could also be referring to a dream within a dream within a dream where the person cannot seem to wake up as they try to escape. I prefer the idea of simply a recurring nightmare as it is a more common literary device. But, I do not know your culture and so I do not know which is more appropriate to you. Perhaps you can give me your opinion on this?
DeleteTo Anonymous san
DeleteIt seems that what the producer did is only ordering a tune like Dream Theater + Meshuggah (& English title at last). Everything is done by Yuyoyuppe (& sung by SU-METAL).
I think a dream within a dream within ... needs some gates separating dreams like "I thought I had woken up (but I am still in a dream)". But I can't find such a gate in the lyric.
I think it is personal experience rather than culture that influences what a rondo a person thinks of. It seems to me that a rondo "A B A C A ..." is completed within a night. I really experienced nightmares in this form in my childhood. More likely, "A" is a recurring nightmare part and "B, C ..." may be dreamless sleeps or half awake states. But, for the people who have experienced no such nightmare but nightmares that recurred every night, "A"s are the nights with recurring nightmare and "B, C ..." are the days between them.
Du Enki, thank you for giving me another path to follow in my thinking. I had not thought about the dreams following a literal interpretation of a Rondo as it is in musical form. This is very interesting. And, I agree with you that there are no "gates" in the lyrics to allow for a dream within a dream structure. From your responses and reading other comments on your site I believe that as a broad generalization, Japanese people probably use their language more precisely than American's use their English language. I am not a linguist, so this is just my opinion given without any background authority - only an observation. Again, thank you for replying to my comments and thank you for your superior work in helping many people to know the songs of BABYMETAL.
DeleteI don't know what span of repetition Yuyoyuppe really meant by "rondo".
DeleteProbably some of my comments are fault-finding. There are many Japanese popular songs with somewhat imprecise usages of words. And it is Japanese comedians' tradition to point out such imprecision and joke about it.
thanks for english translate
ReplyDeleteI am Japanese , but our language is too difficult for us.
ReplyDeleteI think that the following is wrong.
It flickers slowly
appearing and disappearing in my mind.
A nightmare rondo is being repeated.
1. in my yurameku (shaken? ) mind , not slowly
2. The nightmare may have been repeated as a rondo. (She is not sure of this.)
Thank you for your interpretation.
DeleteAbout 2: I think "a nightmare rondo is repeated" and "a nightmare is repeated as rondo form" makes no substantial difference. Since it is "Kurikaesareteru" in the lyric, I think "she" who says it is aware of the nightmare though "she" in the nightmare may not.
About 1: In a dictionary at hand, "yurayura" is explained with "yukkuri" (= slowly). At least it would be slow compared with average flickering, maybe with average shaking.
Since the original lyrics have no punctuations, it is possible to analyze as you did: "It (= nightmare?) appears and disappears in my shaken mind". But the official lyrics are divided in lines as I wrote, and the melody itself is divided that way. Since I can't feel a motion of the melody from "yurameku" to "kokoro ni", it's hard for me to think whole the first line (of the section) determines only the first word of the second line. And, following your interpretation, I can't imagine well the relation of two movements: shaking and appearing/disappearing.
I think the second line is a paraphrase of the first line.
解釈ありがとうございます。
２については、「悪夢のロンドが」も「悪夢がロンド形式で」も実質的な違いは無いと思います。歌詞で「繰り返されてる」となっているので、悪夢の中の彼女はともかく、そう歌っている彼女は悪夢に気付いていると思います。
１については、手元の辞書で「ゆらゆら」は「ゆっくり」を使って説明されています。少なくとも平均的な揺れと比べれば遅いでしょう。
原詞には句読点が無いので、あなたのような分析も可能です。しかし公式歌詞は私が書いたように行分けされていて、メロディ自体もそう分かれています。私には「揺らめく」から「心に」へのメロディの動きが感じられないので、一行目全体が二行目の最初の言葉だけを規定していると考えることは、私には難しいです。そして、あなたの解釈に従うと、心の揺れと見え隠れの二つの動きの関係が、私にはうまく想像できません。
私は、二行目は一行目を言い換えているのだと考えます。
I explain in Japanese.
DeleteAbout 1:
たとえ行が別になっていても「揺らめく心」と読み取ります。「揺れる」のは「心」なのです。これは歌詞の場合特にお約束になっています。
「ゆらゆら」は確かに「揺れる」様子を表すオノマトペですが、この場合、語感のために挿入されていると見たほうが良いでしょう。意味が重要ではない場合も多いです。
「心の揺れと見え隠れ」
ある考えが、心のなかに現れたり消えたりしている。それによって動揺している。
その考えが、次の行の内容です。
ここからは個人的解釈になりますが、何故動揺しているかというと、この時気がついたからです。繰り返していると。
ただ、現れたり消えたりですから、「確信を持っていない」か「ほぼ確信していても否定したい」と解釈できます。
( 次の段階では、確信によって絶望し死すら願うことになりますね。)
(2) では「気がついたけれども確信していないこと」を強調したかったのですが、説明できていませんね。
もうちょっと書きますがここからは本当に個人的な解釈になります。
この歌の彼女は既に死んでると思うんですよ。本人は死んだことに気が付かずに延々悪夢を繰り返すような話は、日本ではあまり奇異ではないです。漫画などでも割りと良くみます。
You say:
DeleteIt's a standard for "yureru" of Japanese songs that it is "kokoro" that does "yureru". She is shaken up by (becoming aware of) an idea (that a nightmare ...) appearing and disappearing in her mind. And (you interpret it as) she's not sure because it appears and disappears. And you think further that she is already dead but undergoing the nightmare repeatedly, unaware of her own death.
I'm interested in your interpretation that she is already dead.
Only the lyric writer Yuyoyuppe knows what does "yurameku". I searched for his lyric using "yureru"/"yurameku" on the internet and found one his own & three by Leda with music by him.
"Subete ga yuraide" (= everything shaking) in Despair (by Yuyoyuppe),
"Yureru EMOTION & REASON" in EMOTION & REASON,
"Yurete majiru zanzoo" (= afterimages mixed by shaking) in Itsuwari no KESHIKI,
"Kokochi-yoku yurameku, Yurikago no naka" (= in a cradle shaken comfortably / shaken comfortably in a cradle) in Final Reason.
I don't know whether it's a standard or not, but he doesn't seem to follow it.
And I've got these search results on the internet:
"yureru kokoro" (= mind): 240,000+, "yureru sugata" (= figure): 67,000+, "yureru honoo" (= flame); 47,000+, "yurrameku kokoro": 7,000+, "yurameku sugata": 9,000+, "yurameku honoo": 58,000+.
Surely "yureru kokoro" seems a standard, but "yurameku kokoro" seems not. A Japanese large dictionary tells that "***-meku" means "to look/sound like ***", "to express a state of ***", so I think it a bit unnatural to use "yurameku kokoro" for now oneself. The search results ("yurameku kokoro" is less common) would approve this.
And I can't still imagine the situation you explain though I understand what you say. There's no depiction how she is shaken up but a mere report of the fact. Since she can't escape from there, such a report wouldn't matter. There may be a possibility that this song suggests there is a way to escape but she gives up to search for it because she is shaken up. But I don't think so.
彼女が既に死んでいるという貴方の解釈には興味を持ちました。
作詞者のゆよゆっぺだけが何が「ゆらめく」のか知っています。インターネットで「揺れる」「ゆらめく」を使った彼の歌詞を探し、一つ、そして彼の作曲でLeda作詞のを三つ見つけました。
「全てが揺らいで」Despair (ゆよゆっぺ作詞)、
「揺れるEMOTION & REASON」EMOTION & REASON、
「揺れて混じる残像」偽りのKESHIKI、
「心地よくゆらめく、ゆりかごのなか」Final Reason
それがお約束かどうか知りませんが、彼はそれに従っていないようです。
次の検索結果も得ました：
「揺れる心」(ひらがな表記含む)約24万件、「揺れる姿」約6万7千件、「揺れる炎」約4万7千件、「揺らめく心」約7千件、「揺らめく姿」約9千件、「揺らめく炎」約5万8千件。
確かに「揺れる心」はお約束のようですが、「揺らめく心」は違うようです。日本国語大辞典によれば「…めく」は「…の状態を外に示す」ということなので、今の自分に「揺らめく心」と言うのはちょっと不自然だと思いますし、「揺らめく心」が一般的でないという検索結果も、それを実証するでしょう。
そして、あなたの言うことは分かりますが、その状況が想像できません。彼女が動揺する様子の描写は無く、単なる事実の報告しか有りません。彼女は逃げ出せないならば、動揺という事実だけ報告しても意味無いでしょう。この歌が「脱出方法は有るのに、彼女は動揺してそれを探すのを諦める」という状況を示唆しているという可能性が有るかも知れませんが、私はそうは思いません。
あなたは、良く日本語を理解している。私の書いたことを正しく理解しているし、あなたの日本語は自然なものだ。
Deleteしかし、私が伝えたいことは伝わっていない。今すこしだけ説明しておこうと思う。
「揺れる」と「揺らめく」の違い
「～めく」は基本的には動詞を作る用法で、名詞に付ける「春めく」とかが代表的。「きらめく」もありますが。
「揺らめく」はそれとは少し違う。最初から動詞がありますから。でも「揺れる様子」を強調する用法であるのは確かです。一般的には特定の揺れ方を指し、ろうそくの炎のような揺れ方をイメージしますね。単独で 「ゆらゆら＋揺れる」と言っても良いでしょう。
ですが、「ゆらゆら」を場合にあわせて正確に表現し直すことが出来ないなら、意味から外すべきだと思います。オノマトペですし。
さて、解釈の話。
「揺らめく」とだけ聞いたら何が？と思うでしょう。「心の中」にと続いて、あぁ心かと思いますね。
で、すぐ「見え隠れ」と来るわけです。また何が？思う。
「悪夢の輪舞曲が繰り返されている」と来て、その考えのことだと分かる。そういう構造だと思いますよ。
これは個人的な解釈じゃなくて、普通の解釈だと思うわけです。
文法的にどうであれ、この２行が、「繰り返されている」ことを知った時の動揺を表現していると思います。
( 知った時についてですが、闇に落ちた後、悪夢の記憶もなくし最初からやり直して毎回改めて知ると思います。)
ここが伝わってるのかどうか？最も肝心な点だと思います。
( ついでですが、「心が揺れる」=「動揺」として書きました。)
「彼女が既に死んでいる」について
正しいかどうかは別にして、この解釈の可能性があるのは確かですね。そこは確信しています。
最も無邪気な歌を歌う彼女らが、最も深い「死後の苦しみ」をも歌っていると考えることは痛快ですよ。
I am a native Japanese. My ancestors and I have been living in Japan for (at least) hundreds of years.
Delete"Yurayura" doesn't seem an onomatopoeia. Shogakukan Unabridged Dictionary of the Japanese Language (2nd ed. vol.13) tells that the etymology of "yurayura" is "yururaka" (p452) and "yururaka" is a derivative from "yurui" (p462). As you know, "yurui" implies "yukkuri" (= slowly). And the dictionary also tells (p451-452) that "yurameku" means (1) for things, persons & images, to shake slowly, (2) to make comfortable sound by shaking, (3) for some thought, to appear temporally in one's mind.
If you are the very lyric writer, Yuyoyuppe san, you are absolutely right about your own lyrics. But, if not and you still say I am wrong, I think you should show the grounds for that. I think it's not enough to write only you think yours is a common interpretation.
I can't incarnate your explanation, "(a thought) appearing and disappearing in my/her shaken mind". Knowing one's own mind is shaken up is only possible by judging from some objective matters such as one's fast heartbeat, one's strained body, one's stupid mistakes, etc. That is when she sees her objectified mind in her un-objectified mind, and the thoughts she can see are only the ones appearing in her un-objectified mind.
I think it is someone outside her, probably only the almighty god, that can see a thought appearing in a shaken mind, because it means to see the inside of the objectified mind. I remember I read the sentences of Garcia Marquez (in Japanese translation) stated from such an almighty viewpoint, but I think it is not suitable for lyrical poetry.
私は日本生まれの日本人で、先祖から続いて少なくとも数百年日本に住んでいます。
「ゆらゆら」はオノマトペではないようです。小学館日本国語大辞典(第2版第13巻)は、「ゆらゆら」の語源は「ゆるらか」で(p452)、「ゆるらか」は「ゆるい」の派生語だ(p462)、と説明しています。ご存知の通り、「ゆるい」は「ゆっくり」を含意します。さらに辞典は、「ゆらめく」は (1)物、人や映像がゆっくりゆれる (2)ゆれて快い音を立てる (3)ある考えが一時的に心にうかぶ、と説明しています。
もしあなたが作詞者ゆよゆっぺさん本人ならば、あなたはあなた自身の詞について絶対的に正しい。しかし、そうではないのに私が間違っていると言うならば、その根拠を示すべきだと思います。自分の解釈が普通の解釈だと言うだけでは、不十分だと思います。
私は「私／彼女のゆらめく心に（考えが）見え隠れする」という説明を具体化できません。自分の心が動揺していると知ることは、鼓動の高まりや身体の緊張や愚かな間違いなど、客観的な事柄から判断することによってのみ可能です。それは、彼女の対象化された心が対象化されていない心の中に見える、ということです。そして、彼女が見ることができる考えは、対象化されていない心の中に現れるものだけです。
揺れる心に現れる考えを見ることが出来るのは、彼女の外側にいる誰か、たぶん全能の神だけだろうと思います。なぜならそれは、対象化された心の内側を見るということだからです。私は、そのような全能視点から書かれたガルシア・マルケスの文（の和訳）を読んだ記憶が有ります。しかしそのような視点は、抒情詩には相応しくないと思います。
まずは誤ります。日本の文化にあまり詳しくない外国の方だと思っていました。
Delete次にあなたが間違っているとしつこく書くつもりはなかったのです。私の言っていることが理解できないと言っているように感じたので補足したまで。
正直困りました。動揺という言葉に引っかかるとは思ってもいませんでした。
ただしいかどうか別にして、私は動揺を自覚できるできるものと考えているということにしてください。
例えば、「平静を装う」という言葉は、「動揺していることを自覚し人に知られないようにする」という意味で捉えています。ついでに言うと(私のイメージでは)ここでの動揺は、不安や恐怖を感じているということですね。
実を言うと、「ゆらめく」の解釈についても、私は拘っていないのです。言いたかったことは別にある。
もう一度、表現を変えて書きますが、
「悪夢の輪舞曲が繰り返されている」と言う文が、単なる事実(あるいは彼女の認識)を説明するものではなくて、その時に認識した(あるいは発見した)ことを強調しているものであるならば、英語では 「繰り返されてきた」と翻訳すべきではないか。
単にこういうことなんですが、その時に認識したということを説明するために書いたことでややこしくなってしまいました。
I didn't say one's shaken-up is impossible to recognize, but just said such expressions like "appearing in my/her shaken mind" can be only outside the story.
DeleteYou seem to suggest the present perfect form (or the present perfect progressive). In the real life, of course, a repetition can be confirmed only in the form of "it has repeated" because the reference to the past is necessary for it and the future is not there yet. But this is a lyrical poem, and the story in a nightmare, therefore all what "I" feel and all what "I" do, as occurring at the moment, are stated in simple (= present) form. I think the present progressive form is better for the line in question unless "this has been a repeated dream" is more natural than "this is a repeating dream" for a native English speaker to say in a dream.
I mean, though your interpretation "she ..." from outside is quite true, it would not be suitable as a sentence "I ..." in the story.
私は自分の動揺は認識できないと言ったのではなく、「揺れる心に現れる」という表現は物語の外側でのみ存在可能だ、と言っただけです。
貴方は現在完了形（か現在完了進行形）を示唆してるようですね。もちろん現実世界では、繰返しを確かめるには過去への言及が不可欠だし未来はまだ無いので、「繰り返されてきた」という形でしか確かめられません。しかし、これは抒情詩で、悪夢の中の話です。それゆえ「私」の感じること私のすること全ては、その瞬間に起きることとして、単純形（現在形）で記述されています。「これは繰り返す夢だ」より「これは繰り返された夢だった」と夢の中で言うほうが、英語母国語者にとって自然である、ということでもない限り、私は、問題の行については現在進行形のほうが良いと思います。
つまり、外側からの「彼女は…」という貴方の解釈が全く正しいとしても、それは、物語の中の「私は…」という文としては、相応しくないだろう、ということです。
I love this song and your site. I get to learn lyrics to great music and have a free Japanese lesson along the way. :)
ReplyDeletePlease note that sometimes I may handle carelessly the issues of Japanese language.
Deletegood job
ReplyDeleteI love this song and the translation. Great work! I'm using this to help me learn Japanese, but one thing I don't get is the very first line in the chorus, when she sings, "Yura yura yurameku" I know that yurameku means 'to flicker' but what does yura mean?
ReplyDelete"Yura" comes from "yurui". "Yurui" means "loose", "slow", "gentle", etc. "Yurameku" is a verb used limitedly for flames, images, etc. "Yurayura" is a adverb used with many verbs. Both mean "shaking slowly".
DeleteHi! Firstly, well done and thank you for all your hard work in translating these songs for us, you're doing a fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to pitch in with an idea about the word "rondo" in the context of this song. I've been researching around, and every time the word appears it seems to refer to a repetitive tune or dance. Also, I've been looking at translations of other songs, especially Lovin' It by Amuro Namie, which includes the lyric:
Maru de nandomo kurikaesareteru deja vu - Like it's happened again and again, deja vu
Which made me rethink what you've already put. So possibilities could be:
A nightmare dance, again and again.
Or...
A (the) nightmare dance begins again.
This fits with the rest of the song, telling the story of a mythical beast terrorising our beautiful heroine Su-Metal, in the light of the moon. It becomes a chase-like dance, she tries to escape, and the beast follows not far behind, mirroring or echoing her movements, like a dance. That would also fit with "rondo" being a repetitive part of a song or dance movement, a "refrain" as we say in English.
That's my feeling, that this song is about the nightmarish dance that ensues between the prey and the unseen beast ("Won't you show me your figure?" I take as being "Won't you show me what you are?" but it's the word "sugata" that I don't quite grasp.)
Anyway, that's my little ramble. I'm not a translator, I don't speak Japanese, everything I've learned is from reading on the Internet. My thoughts are based purely on other examples, and putting it all together to what feels right, if I were writing this song in English. I am a writer, by the way. I write horror, hence why I love this song so much!
Keep up the good work!
Andy
Thank you for your interesting interpretation.
DeleteThere is some possibility that the word "rondo" refers to a dance and it was associated with the image that a beast is chasing a girl as you say. Even if it is the case, however, he may have been unconscious of it.
Japanese lyric writers often make the lyrics just writing down the beautiful words that come across his/her mind. Sometimes the lyrics are very true to the actual situation, sometimes physically impossible, but people seldom analyze them. Japanese people don't care about the reality if the words make them feel good, so you should be careful when you analyze Japanese songs.
I'm sorry. I should say not "Japanese people don't care about the reality...",
Deletebut "Japanese listeners don't attach great importance to the reality..."
Indeed, and it reflects that song writers often use metaphors and imagery that doesn't actually make sense in their own language, so translating effectively into a different one becomes all the more difficult.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you for all your hard work in these translations, I have the utmost respect for you and your efforts. Keep your kitsune up! =]
They should make more songs like this :)
ReplyDeleteI just had to finally comment after all this time. After I heard Babymetal for the first time, it opened my mind, and still currently does. This was the first website I ever found dealing with Babymetal, and I have got to say thank you so much, for your translations, insights, and other information. Kitsune Up! \m/
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment.
DeleteI hope I can help you & all BABYMETAL fans enjoy BABYMETAL's songs.
こんにちは Enkiさん いつも英語の勉強をさせていただいております。さて、悪夢の輪舞曲ですが、多分コバメタルが聖飢魔Ⅱに敬意を表して蝋人形の館の少女側からの視点でよゆっぺに発注したものではないでしょうか。私の勝手な解釈ですがどうでしょう。そうすると歌詞も想像しやすくなりませんか。
ReplyDeleteThank you for interpretation. You say KOBAMETAL may have requested the lyric written from the view-point of the girl who appeared in "Rôningyô no Yakata" (The House of Wax) of Seikima-II.
DeleteI don't know whether he said something like that, but it seems to me that this lyric itself has little relevance to that song. She seems to be shut in somewhere, but her situation may be different from that song.
解釈ありがとうございます。
彼がそういう注文したかどうか知りませんが、歌詞自体はあの歌とほとんど関係が無いように思われます。彼女はどこかに閉じ込められているようですが、状況はあの歌とは違うかも知れません。
えのきど？さん、こんにちは 英語の勉強させていただいております。私も蝋人形の館に対するアンサーソングだと思います。謎の老人は洋館の主の下僕で少女を運ぶだけ、と考えれば顔を見たいあなたが主だと思いませんか。コバが聖飢魔Ⅱに敬意を表さないのはおかしいと思います。
ReplyDeleteThank you for comment.
DeleteYou say KOBAMETAL expressed his respect to Seikima-II and this is the answer song to "The House of Wax".
Probably he respects Seikima-II, and he may have requested the lyrics written from the view-point of the captive girl, but Yuyopuppe seems to have written them rather freely, and I don't think this is the answer song in the strict meaning.
I think an answer song should be something in which, for example, the same scene is depicted from the opposite view-point, but these two songs share only the plot that a girl is shut in somewhere, and it doesn't seem to me that they can be fused in one story, so I think we should not think it so important for interpreting this song.
You may learn much from native English speakers' comments,
but please note that I'm not good at English and sometimes I dare to choose strange expression in the translation of the lyrics.
コメントありがとうございます。
たぶんコバメタルは聖飢魔IIを尊敬しているでしょうし、捕われの少女の視点での歌詞を依頼したかも知れませんが、ゆよゆっぺはかなり自由に作詞しているようで、私は、この曲が厳密な意味でのアンサーソングだとは思いません。
アンサーソングは、例えば、同じシーンを反対側から描写したようなものであるべきだと、私は思いますが、この二曲は、少女が囚われているという点しか共有していなくて、一つのストーリーに融合できるようには思えません。この曲の解釈にあの曲をあまり重視しないほうがいいと思います。
英語母語話者のコメントには学ぶところが多いでしょうが、私自身は英語が得意ではないし、ときどき歌詞の翻訳で敢えて変な表現を選ぶ、ということにご注意ください。
Just a couple of suggestions to get a more natural reading from the English:
ReplyDelete1. I think it would probably be better to translate kageri as gloom (instead of shade or shadow). This is a very atmospheric song, and gloom will imply a more atmospheric (even oppressive) darkness that seems to hang over everything as the moon is waning, making some things visible, but very hard to tell if you're really looking at something threatening or the shape of a shadow or maybe just seeing only darkness while your mind is playing tricks on you.
Shade commonly has more of a daytime connotation, like sitting in the shade of a tree to get away from the hot sun.
2. Sugata might be better translated to form instead of figure. To ask someone to "show me your figure" sounds more like you want them to show off their chest, waist, and hip measurements to you, rather than just reveal what they are as she's asking whatever is pursuing her to do. So, figure sounds little funny in this context, but "Won't you reveal your form to me?" would fit better and still mean what was trying to be conveyed. Yes, if you said something like "the figure of a person", figure would be correctly interpreted to be "the shape (or form) of a person or something that looked like a person", and wouldn't sound a bit off to a native speaker. English is weird like that with context.
I think everything else fits just fine in the lyrics. :)